Round and round...

I am grateful to be a survivor, to understand this part of my history and my life. Comprehension is a gift. Yet, I find myself a bit frustrated. Over and over again I return to my history in new ways. Once my therapist described it as a spiral - - as we grow through life and through our survivorship we progress and come to the same issues with (hopefully) new tools and new information. Yet, we come back to the same issues. That is what frustrates me. If only we could grow and not have to come back to it. I wish.

Singing to Handle Trauma in Sderot, Israel

Sderot, Israel is very near the boarder with Gaza. Gaza is controlled by Hamas, an elected organization which has as part of its mission to eradicate Israel. One way they hope to force Israel to just quit as a country (not going to happen) is by sending Qassam rockets into Sderot and other nearby towns, aiming for schools, homes, and the everyday life of people. On a typical day lately at least 15 rockets are fired. Can you imagine dealing with that? Setting aside the politics and heartbreak of the situation, people who live in Sderot (I know some) live in fear every day and many of the youth struggle with trauma.

Residents of Sderot have about less than a minute to get to a place of stafety when they hear the warning "Red Color" announcing an incoming rocket (spotted by those who watch for them). Hearing a Red Color causes panic in many, especially children.

One woman wanted to find a way to help the children of Sderot and a nearby kibbutz deal with the Red Color and the feelings that it raises. She created a song to do this. Yoav Shoam directed a You Tube video about the song, with moving commentary by children.

Watch the video:

Finally!

Finally. I am posting on this blog. I bet you thought this blog was now "dead." :-) It has been far too long since I have posted and since I have really worked on my survivorship stuff. Sure, I've been busy, but I know all to well what happens when I neglect that part of myself.

So, what have I been doing? Working, working, working, working...... Too much working, truthfully. I need to find a better balance. Work is demanding and there is much to do, but that will always be true and (warning, preaching to self on the way...) I need to have a life and set a better example for the people with whom I work. (Especially since I am the boss.)

One of the fun things that has been going on with work is that I traveled to Israel again with my job. The trip was fulfilling, productive and I even took a few days of vacation at the end and relaxed! Over the five days I stayed after the formal program ended I got to see a friend's son achieve an important goal, met new friends and read 4 books. Fun!

So, I am going to better to myself, live with better balance and post more!
Have a good end to your Sunday.

Gratitude

It is another late night of working - 1st at the office and now at home. Much work to do for the main job and the side job, much to do for myself. Yet, as I sit here, I am filled with gratitude, for my friends and for my life. Thank you for being who you are and being in my life.

Another blog by a Jewish incest survivor

Chaplain Bonnie has a newly revived blog where she is posting on being a Jewish survivor of incest. Her early posts are poignant. Read here at Jewish Family Incest Healing.

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

Marcella at Abyss2Hope continues to host the blog carnival against child abuse. She has raised awareness through her blog about a Nebraska rape case. She writes,

"I want to take a moment to highlight an upcoming series of events related to the Nebraska rape case where Tory Bowen (name used with permission) was forbidden by the judge to describe what happened to her as rape and where she was supposed to use the word sex instead, there are going to be more rallies on Tuesday, July 17th at various court houses.

For more about the case or the carnival go to her site.

Additional Links

Something I appreciate about the blog community its the chance to reach out to each other, read each other, learn from each other and be present, even if it is through the medium of the internet. Mike of the blog Child Abuse Survivor has been such a connection for a long time. When I visited his blog today I noticed that there are many links to other survivor blogs - thanks Mike. Here are some that I found through surfing through his site and other links:

A Male's Life After Rape
Broken Dreams
Dead Puppy's Journal
Diary of a Survivor in the Making
Fear Not Your Light
Kinky Karma
Nexusdog
Sadly Normal
Surviving IncestSurvivors Can Thrive
The People Behind My Eyes
The Thriver's Toolbox
Why Can't The Past Just Die?
Wings of Hope
Wounded Woman
Wrong Words
Yesterday's Ashes

Organizations that have supportive & informative sites:
Alice Miller
ASCA - Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

Hello to a blogging friend

Blogging can be a liberating writing tool. So it is for a friend of mine. Take a look at her blog, "A Womyn's Ecdysis."

Wishing you a great weekend and (if applicable) a Shabbat shalom!

Update: I just spent some time reading through posts on A Womyn's Ecdysis and enjoyed every moment - you go womyn!!

Clarification on my earlier post- length of healing

Hello again. [Yes, after not posting for a long time, I am posting thrice in once night. ;-) ]

I'm home now from the place where I was blogging from my Treo and when checking my earlier posts I realized I need to clarify something. I remarked about my friend "D" "Too bad that healing can sometimes be lengthy." Healing takes its own time. I did not mean to suggest that there needs to be a time limit on healing. In fact, as many of us know, healing can be like a spiral - we return to the same issues over and over again in different ways and with different tools. I am by no means judging us when it takes a long time to heal.

Thanks for letting me clarify.

Posting from my Palm

A quick tech note - I'm posting from my Treo 755p and I love it!

Long term impact of abuse

I had a wonderful, reconnecting conversation with a friend tonight. It was a blessing to speak with her. We've been friends for nearly 15 years, and even though we had a period of disconnection, we've picked things back up.

During our conversation tonight I was reminded of how long the pain of abuse can last. This friend was abused by an employer and the effects remain to this day.

I am mindful of the reality that I can't take away her pain - just be there for her. Too bad that healing can sometimes be lengthy.

Powerful New Site on Clergy Sexual Abuse

Check out Sharon's Rose, a site on Clergy Sexual Abuse (hat tip to Chavah of Rabbinical Sexual Misconduct).

Tragedy at Virginia Tech

To state the obvious, the tragedy at VT is devastating. During the past 36 hours since I learned of the shootings my mind returns frequently to the students, faculty, staff, parents and community of VT.

Within the horror there is heroism - the many people who risked or lost their lives to save others. For example, Dr. Liviu Librescu who put himself between his students and the gunman, giving the students time to flee out the window. He was killed. Dr. Librescu knew horror, for he was a Holocaust survivor and had lived in Ceaucescu's Romania. He was also an Israeli citizen and brilliant researcher. Read about his story in the Jerusalem Post.

May the Holy One bring healing to those recovering from injury, comfort to those in mourning and wisdom to us all.