Saturday, October 18, 2003

"Sisterly" Ultimatum

The words have finally been said between my Sister and I - to have any kind of relationship with her I have to return to being "part of the family" like I was before I started seeing (or as they believe, being brainwashed by) my therapist. She actually said that until I can do that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Damn! I knew this was probably coming, but it still hurts. She tried all the well-worn tactics the Parents use, like I'm not being a good Jew, that I'm not honoring the parents, that I am a liar and that I have hurt them with my "horrible allegations." I don't know why I'm surprised. I shouldn't be. I'm just sad.

The conversation was precipitated by my telling her that I was politely turning down her Thanksgiving invitation (see this post for the background) to which she replied, well, I know that I'm not important in your life. Unfortunately, I took the bait (writing this down helps me see that bait is what it was) and I tried my best to communicate that I want to be friends with her (something we've never been, sadly) but she wasn't going to hear it. I have to patch things up with my parents for that to happen, which means going back to the idea that they were/are great parents. So sad that she has been manipulated by them into the middle.

Even though I knew this was eventually coming, it still sucks. The abusive Bastard and his damage live on.

I do know and keep telling myself that I am doing what I need to for staying well. Sometimes healthy survivorship and good boundaries aren't fun at all.

Thanks to JW who was there for me when I called after hanging up with Sister, I really appreciate it.


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