Well, I did it. I just got home from having dinner with my parents. It is always amazing to me how "okay" and "healthy" a family can look on the surface. Scratch a little bit though......and all the disfunction, power games and abuse comes out. My family is still trying to prove to me that there was no abuse in the house and that I'm a big fat liar (their words weren't that nice), but I know it all happened. Likewise I know that they will likely never ever admit it, apologize or such.
I chose a very yummy restaurant that I knew everyone would like and at which all would be able to find something they enjoy as well as being a nice enough place that my father was not likely to make a scene. Between that and placing myself as far away from my father as possible at the table and making small talk about other things; the dinner expereince was okay. Perhpas the most telling element of discussion was when I mentioned to them that I will be attending the upcoming conference Pursuing Truth, Justice and Righteousness: A Call to Action, The First International Conference on Domestic Abuse in the Jewish Community. The king and queen of denial didn't say ONE word.
So, I have spent time with them and they will likely show up for erev shabbat services tomorrow where I will be (which is okay) and I think that'll be it for time with them during their trip here (they are in town until Monday evening).
I have survived intact, happy and (if I can say so) proud of myself.
Your sister survivor,
Leah
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